Great North Run - out of 10 you're a 13.1

 So if you know me I have been having an issue with my ankle now for a year and a half. This was caused by sinus tarsi. Last November I also managed to trip over my own front door, which made my ankle blow up and I injured my peroneal tendon. D'oh. So this year has been mostly one of rehab and physio visits. In May, I started work as a swimming teacher which is very active and involves a lot of walking, and I think that has really contributed towards the rehab process. I hesitate to say healing as I'm sure it's still there, I live in hope I'll be able to wear nice shoes again one day (shoes that have any kind of arch support seem to be trainers or very solid sandals...). Due to this, I had done very little training for the Great North Run, for a long while I was considering just deferring to next year. However, we'd booked the tickets, I'd done a four hour walk that was zero fun in training (!), so off we went to Newcastle.

Just a note that there is going to be a bit of moaning here about the transport to and from the event. We had to leave just after 8 to catch a bus to Newcastle, as they only run every hour from where we were staying in Blyth. Yes, we probably could have caught the 9:20 bus, but that might have been cancelled/full, and wasn't worth the risk. Thankfully, the bus we caught ran on time and took us nicely all the way to Haymarket where the start was. The toilet situation wasn't great either. Big queues on Town Moor, and then zero toilet options once we were on our way to the start/in the pens. There were a lot of people using the bushes, which isn't good. There was a lot of walking to the start - I looked at my watch and by the time I had threaded my way to the start I had already done 6000 steps! There were some amazing outfits though - I saw two people dressed as ovaries and a couple of women with breasts on their backs were on the TV - complete with squeaking nipples 😂. We saw the Red Arrows speeding over which was amazing and weirdly emotional, not helped by some poor bloke on the TV who had just lost his parent recently...

We had to walk past the start, then about another couple of km to the end of the queues waiting to start, then back to the start again...

So after leaving Stuart at 10:45, I finally started the Great North Run at 12:34. It was very busy to start with, I'd chosen the "left" side, where you go under the bridge, which started off a whole round of "oggy oggy oggy"... There was even someone with a sign saying "You're (kinda) nearly there"! within the first km! This was the first lie of the run... It was super busy, and I was trying my best to do my slow run/walk on the left as instructed, but yet I still had people barging past me or running on the pavement next to me to get past, it was pretty annoying! We went over the Tyne Bridge, which was epic, even if it does look like it needs a bit of paint closer up. Then we were running through Gateshead. Pretty soon I had to "go", as it had been several hours of waiting to start. There was a queue at the first row of portaloos I went past, so I decided to keep going to the next one. Unfortunately at the next one, there was only one loo available so I had to wait around 12 minutes, which really ate into my run time! Annoyingly probably about another 10 minutes down the road was a whole row of portaloos with no queue! At least stopping meant the road cleared a bit and it wasn't so busy on the road. At the aid station I had a bottle of water thrust into my hand, like I had to take it! The crowds were epic, everyone was offering me sweets, to the point where I had a few too many jelly babies and felt a bit sick! There was a bridge that said "Cheer if you're having fun" and I realised, I was actually having fun for a change!

Probably at about mile 7 - half way - the wheels started to come off. We were "running" down a dual carriageway with very little support (apart from the odd driver honking their horn on the other side of the road). I got out the bottle of coke I'd placed in my running vest for this situation, which was definitely a good idea. We went past this drag act who looked fabulous and as I shuffled past them I said "you're almost as tall as me" which they replied "I love that!". I have no idea why I said that to them!

Every day I'm shuffling - just after the half way point, you can see the bottle of coke in one of my pockets...

I was overtaking and being overtaken by a guy called David, who had a "in memory of" T-shirt on, he asked me how I was doing at one point and I said "feeling the chafe". I think that put him off chatting to me again (!), sorry David. I hadn't put any lube on my thighs - error on my part, given I was wearing shorts. I wanted to go ask the St Johns Ambulance people if they had any Vaseline, but was worried if I stopped I would never finish the race. So I kept on going. The final gradual climb was long and painful. I was mostly walking by this stage, as my legs were protesting. I had someone come up to me and ask if I wanted to chat. I didn't really, but I was polite... It had started to rain and there were some massive sprinklers on the road, ones that you couldn't avoid, so while we were trying to deal with rain from above I was also trying to go to the furthest side away from the sprinklers! I missed the free beer near the end, but I wouldn't have wanted a can of lager anyway - yuk! Finally the top of the hill came into view, I asked someone if that was actually the top or if it was a false summit, thankfully it was the top and then there was an interesting downhill and you could see the sea! Yay! The final mile was a painful affair but I was happy I was nearly there and it was flat! Everything was sore, especially my hip for some reason. We were directed off the road on to the grass and there was the finish line! I'd finished in under 4 hours!

Absolutely finished

I would include here a massive moan about how terrible it was to try and get home through the crowds, or how my poor body completely crashed post-event and I ended up passing out trying to exit the train at Newcastle Central, but instead I will leave with a thank you to Stuart for his support, sorry but I'm sure I'll be doing another half marathon again, but next time with a bit more training! Also a thank you to my mother in law Lillian for putting us up as always. Plus thank you to Coach T for her support despite the lack of training...

Belgium 70.3: Off, off, off with your head; Dance, dance, dance til you're dead

 I know I've been quiet on here this year. I did Ride London again, but my race report for that was essentially "sheer bloody agony. Agony. Agony. I think I broke my foot." Side note, I did not break my foot or have a stress fracture, I have this very annoying thing called sinus tarsi syndrome, which causes a tiny swelling but a LOT of pain and has essentially made me unable to do any running this year beyond 5k. I ended up doing two aquabikes in the summer, the Bridge sprint (where I came third!) and Midnightman half, where I came first and last in the aquabike 😂.

Anyway, on to Belgium. I'd spent most of the week before with massive anxiety. I was worried about the race as well as driving on the other side of the road, as I'd not done it in my car before. This caused me to sleep badly and my HRV was very low (this apparently is not good). It didn't help that my gear cable snapped on Sunday before the race, causing me to get a train home, which was annoying. Luckily Ben from Pink Cycles was able to fit a new cable and instructions to be more careful with putting the bike in the car, where the cable was rubbing. Bob the bike had a pillow to rest on as a result on its way to and from Belgium 😂. The drive in the end was fine, apart from the driving rain and the lorries spraying water, which was horrid.

We racked our bikes on the Saturday, and there were a couple of loud bangs from other tyres, so we decided to let our tyres down a bit. Transition was split, so we checked the swim, which had this massive fountain which I hoped would be turned off the next day. Then we got on the bus to T2. We spent a bit more time there, checking out the bike in and where we would rack our bikes, before I walked back into town with Martin. The night rolled by with thunderstorms and more terrible sleep for me. 

Sunday morning started fresh and clear. I walked to the casino to catch the bus. A few Tritons joined me and we travelled to T1. Once there, I sorted my bottles and actually remembered to break up my food into my bento box. I checked out the bike exit and then stood in a very slow portaloo queue. We then stood for a long time in our swim pens waiting for the start. 

Swim: Bun fight plus weeds

We were set off four at a time off a pontoon. I dived off, my goggles did dislodge a bit so I had to quickly remove the water. For some reason I found the racing line which meant that people behind me that were faster kept trying to swim over me. It was absolute carnage. I ended up kicking more than I normally would to stop people from trying to swim over me. It did get a bit better once we got round the corner, but that was when the weeds started. Every arm seemed to gather weeds as I tried hard to swim straight (I actually think the course was slightly wonky because I kept finding myself almost in the middle rope!). It seemed forever to get to the turning with the fountain, which they hadn't turned off... Round the corner and another turn back to the fountain. We had to swim under this huge plume of water, which I wasn't able to breathe in... The exit was ahead, I got out and then we had to go over a bridge to get to transition. 

Transition was busy, but I couldn't see any Tritons, so I tried to quickly get my wetsuit off and my bike gear on. I'd tried to put some kinesiology tape round my ankle to support it, but unfortunately all the kicking must have loosened it, and I just had to take it off. I just got new cycling shoes and found they were almost impossible to run in without causing myself an injury. When I got to the bike, it was the only one left so I assumed that all the other Tritons were out on the bike course. We had to exit via cobbles which was not fun with my bike shoes, but after 10 minutes of faffing (still in the Gary Shaw school for transition, clearly) I finally got to the mount line and on my bike.

Bike: Off, off, off with your head; Dance, dance dance til you're dead

So I had a bike fit just over a week before this event, and I hadn't really biked much since then. I was more comfortable on the bike than I had been for a while, but I was felt much slower than everyone else, as people kept coming past me and the only people I overtook were an old couple on their bikes (not in the race)! The wind was a major factor. It was just relentless. You can see on my ride track how much faster I was in one direction vs going the other way. Unfortunately for me the slower way seemed to be most of the route 😔. It was flat flat, so I was pedalling all the way, with the odd stand up out of the pedals to stretch. At least with the bike fit I was much more comfortable on my saddle, however my hands did get sore after a while and I spent a bit of time trying to shake them off. The ride was mostly on side roads and bike paths, which was really interesting and made me a bit jealous of their great cycling infrastructure. The first aid station came up really quickly, so I refilled my water bottle, had a quick stretch and off I went again. I think this is when I started to be buffeted by the wind the most. I am like a sail in the wind, as due to stupid balance issues I can't get on to the drops and I definitely do not have aero bars... Peter came past me, saying "see you on the run", I was thinking "I'm not sure I'll make it to the run"! I was very impressed he was riding still with his pannier rack on the back, making it look easy! Stephen came past me, then slowed down, so I overtook him, he overtook me, then he had to stop to stretch while I navigated past some cobbles (thankfully there weren't many of these on the course!). I was so glad he'd managed to get through the swim and onto the bike. Finally he cycled off into the distance while I kept pootling on. My ankle started to hurt, and it was nearly time to take my second dose of paracetamol. I stopped briefly to do that, then carried on my way. Leyla came past me, so there were Tritons behind me, I just didn't realise it. Finally I got to the second aid station, more topping up my water bottle and stretching. I shook my head at the helper and complained about the wind, but he said "it's just going to continue". Thanks mate. 

Garmin track of my bike leg. You can clearly see one way is faster than the other!

In the final section, my burning feet returned. I was really hoping the bike fit would help this and stop it, but apparently not. I had to try and take my feet out of the pedals and give them a shake to try and lessen the pain, it was awful. The right foot didn't want to come out at all, but finally it did and I gave it a shake. I was determined not to stop again until I got to the final aid station. Once there, I tried to shake everything out as well as filling up my water bottle for the final time. I did find a bit of speed for the last few km (thanks wind) and FINALLY the dismount line came into view. The "bike in" was past a weird grassed kids' playing area, after that I dropped my bike off and started hobbling towards the bags. Someone asked me if I was OK and a medic was dispatched to help me. She gave me an ice pack after I explained the stupid ankle issue and asked me if I really wanted to go out on the run. I said I had to try. So I put my trainers on, had my customary T2 wee (but this time without any drama) and I was off on the run.

The run: a step too far?

Out of transition and it was very warm. The sun had come out and it was hard work through the park to the run on the promenade. I saw Stuart for the first time, he looked a bit cross (apparently he was worried because I'd taken so much time in T2, which is usually quick). I ran on onto the promenade. It was great to see lots of Tritons, and I had a lot of random people on the side of the road shouting stuff to me in Belgian... I don't speak a word so I have absolutely no idea what they were saying. I think they were trying to be encouraging, but when you have to walk because your ankle is in pain, it wasn't very helpful. My ankle felt like there were knives going into it, and I was really suffering. Every time I tried to run it hurt. I was worried I'd end up doing myself a long-term injury. I really wanted to do the full run, but accepted that I would probably have to do one lap and then DNF myself. After six months of only being able to do short walks and the occasional Parkrun, I was not prepared for a half marathon. I was in pain, it was very hot, and finally I got back to Stuart after yet more people attempting to "cheer" me on (I was not finding it helpful at all because they didn't seem to understand that I HAD to walk and didn't have much of a choice). I said to Stuart, I think I have to finish, I can't run, it feels like daggers in my foot. So I asked a helper and he said I could run down the finish line. 

I run down the finish line, not feeling elated, everyone is cheering me on, they announce my name, it feels very odd. I haven't deserved this, I don't deserve the medal they hang round my neck. It feels like cheating. Once again, the curse of the IM 70.3 has hit. I don't think I'm going to do another one for a while until I can get myself properly fit and ankle/foot issues sorted.

As always I have to thank my lovely husband Stuart, who supported me up to the race and on race day itself. Also Coach T, who has tried her hardest to coach me through jury service and stupid ankle issues. I'm sorry I didn't do the strength training you put in every week. Also to the Tritons, you bunch of social people with a triathlon problem. 

At least this was a PB 😂😂😂

No, you really don't want my legs

 I was inspired by other writers on Substack to write something. I'm sharing on here too because why the hell not?

So I'm a tall woman, 6’3, 99th percentile yadda yadda yadda. My inside leg measurement is 36 inches. Every now and then I get people coming up to me.

Example one:

“Ooh, you're really tall! Can I have some of your legs?”

Me, taken aback “Er… no”

“But I just want a little bit”

Does this person expect me to go under the knife and donate some leg to her? As an aside, it's always women.

Example two:

“I wish I had legs like yours”

Me “Er, no you don't. It's incredibly hard to find trousers that fit”

“I'm sure it's not that difficult.”

These people have not gone into a shop and tried to find extra (extra) long ladies’ trousers. This is because YOU WILL NOT FIND THEM. Next time, have a look. Nowhere.

You. Do. Not. Want. My. Legs.

They are mine. MINE.

Vignette 5: Swim Serpentine

Swim Serpentine was my final event of the season. I was supposed to do it last year, but it was cancelled due to the link between Hyde Park and the Queen's death. I deferred and all was going well until the random heatwave and the concerns over blue green algae. It seems they regularly have to wash out the lake before the event to make sure that the levels are within swimmable threshold. This year that wasn't working/helping and on Tuesday they put out a message on Facebook that they had concerns that the levels would not be safe and that they would let us know by Wednesday 17:00. No email or anything else. Wednesday 17:00 came and went and there was nothing. Eventually they did put up a message saying they still had concerns and they would let us know by Thursday 18:00. Thursday morning they finally sent out an email saying the same thing. They finally decided that the thresholds were just about within swimmable limits on Thursday evening and that the swim was a go. We had another email on Friday morning with the final tests:

I decided it was now or never, I wasn't going to defer another year. Many of my friends decided not to risk it, which was fair. 

After all my chafing last week, I was very careful to make sure I had enough on my neck. I also have a stupidly large head and they were advertising larger hats in the information tent, so I went to ask them. They didn't have any red hats so I ended up with an orange one. Best. Hat. Ever. I am going to be wearing that hat until it dies.

I was wearing skins again, the water temperature was 21 degrees, but less of the random cold spots than last time. I was desperately trying not to drink the water but it was pretty disgusting (I stank afterwards!). It was much much busier than last week and there were people everywhere - many unable it seems to swim in a straight line so would zig zag in front of you. I also had a kayaker cut right in front of me at one point! It was pretty hard to figure out where you were going with the buoys being purple (not the best colour for visibility!). Near the end I did get confused and managed to kick the bottom of the lake - got a bit too close to the shore!

When I got out, I discovered that I had green slunge all over the inside of my trisuit - gross! It absolutely stank as well, everything had to go in the wash. I looked over my Strava stats and it was telling me I'd got a 2 minute PB from last time - no way! Yes way!

On my way home my eyes went weirdly blurry and I had a runny nose. Got home to find I had red eyes with nasty yellow goo :/. Thankfully it cleared up the next day but it was very painful. I couldn't stop sneezing either so must have had some kind of allergic reaction to the water. 

Vignette 4: Dock2Dock 10km: A Bridge Too Far

 So here we were, the hottest day of the year, about to start a 10km swim. The day before they'd told us that it was (barely) wetsuit legal, as previously there was a possibility that wetsuits would not be allowed on the day. The UK had experienced the hottest September week on record, and the water temperature had risen to 23.5 degrees - wetsuits become illegal at 24.

Gary and I at the start.

I decided to go without my wetsuit, as I overheat at the best of times. I think this was the right choice, as although there was the odd cold spot most of the time the water was nice and warm. The course took us down to Ben at the LOW aid station. This seemed to take forever and the footbridge never seemed to get any closer. It was nice to see Nick too as I haven't seen him all summer. 

I barely noticed the second station until I was right on it, but this was when I first met two ladies who I then spent the rest of my swim following them. The swim past the airport also seemed to take forever, and then, back down past the university buildings and our own food station before going past the Excel... very... slowly... I had ongoing cramp in my leg which I tried to help with fluids at each stop, but I now think this was a sign of dehydration. Back down past the bridges, why did I decide to do the 10k? My neck was hurting too from my suit rubbing, despite layering on the lube. I got ahead of the two ladies on the straight towards the airport but then lost time refueling at the last aid station. Although I finished behind them, I discovered I was ahead of them on time.

Unfortunately as I got out I managed to scrape my grazed knee from my clumsy fall the week before. Now there are two things that are almost guaranteed to make me pass out, those are heat and blood (even a little bit). So when I finally got to the changing area I felt terrible. Poor Gary had to come back and check on me (thanks Gary!), but we did get to see Ian struggle through his last km before being directed out of the water.

Afterwards for a few days I suffered with very painful chafing including this bizarre one from the wristband:

I also saw this T-shirt, which pretty much summarises my experience:

Vignette 3: Cotswolds 113: I don't know but I've been told, this triathlon is getting very old

The swim: the only swim this year I actually did in my wetsuit. I felt terribly sick, probably because I'd tried to eat too close to the start of the swim. I wanted to stop so many times and hang on to a kayak but I ploughed on. I made the turn at the purple buoy and ended up turning towards the wrong yellow buoy 😖. Luckily a nice kayaker steered me in the right direction. I was very slow. 

The bike

It was initially very cold, and I did regret not bringing my jacket. My bottle said "Do it for cider and cake" well, I added "and a hot bath" as another carrot/temptation to keep me going. There was a dead dear on the side of the road which I discovered later had caused an issue that morning, but they'd managed to drag it out of the road. We went past an airplane graveyard, then there was the aid station. So I only discovered the night before that the aid station was about a third of the way through the lap and not at the end of the lap. I'd discussed good and bad decisions with my coach and felt it was a good decision to stop for water and a quick stretch. About half way round my first lap I realised I couldn't change up at the front, which was a bit of an issue on a flat course where I just wanted to put the power down (well as much power as I had anyway!). I tried to figure out whether this was a situation where I should stop at the mechanic or not, and decided in favour of stopping just in case he could help. Well, thankfully he could, and 10 minutes later I was back on the road with a fully functioning big ring. Made it round the first lap, and onto the quieter second lap, back past the dead deer, the airplane graveyard and the aid station. Once on my way from the aid station, the front derailleur wire then decided to ping out of its little home and was hitting my leg on every pedal. The photographer was just ahead of me so I couldn't stop so I went past him attempting to smile and then stopped just beyond his car. He checked on me but I was fine, and managed to get the stupid wire back in it's holder for the rest of the ride. It had got hot by the time I finished my ride and I no longer wanted a hot bath!

The run

I'd had issues (pain when walking) with my left calf for a week or so before the race, and no matter of rolling/putting it up etc had helped. Neither had driving from London to the Cotswolds. On the ride I'd taken some paracetamol, which kinda dulled it a bit. The first lap is always about trying to keep out the way of the faster runners, finding out what goodies are available at the aid stations and this time around, regretting I hadn't brought my hydration pack with me because it was hot. The second lap was absolute AGONY. My calf went and I could barely walk, let alone run. Thankfully it started to drizzle a bit so it wasn't so hot. I went past Ian, who was (mid race) deep in discussion with some divers, remarking "Aren't you supposed to be running?". He caught me up at the aid station and decided to stick with me for the remainder of that lap. Thank you, Ian. My 4 hours was up on the paracetamol so I took some more and ventured out on the last lonely lap. I was determined to finish this stupid race. Most of the marshals had gone and it felt like it was just me out on the path. About a third of the way round Simon caught up with me. I asked if that meant I was last and he confirmed I was. Fun fact, Simon is the husband of Helen, who ran with me on my first ever Cotswolds race, and (Helen) had finished several hours earlier. He can talk the back end off a donkey, let me tell you. I was so grateful to him for getting me round that final lap and back to the finish. Graham, the race director, who I'm sure rolls his eyes every time I turn up, came down the finish chute with me.

I discovered post-race that someone started before me (we started in waves) and, although they finished before me, was actually slower so I didn't actually come last!

Vignette 2: Bridge Sprint: putting the poo into poubelle

Note: I am translating poubelle to rubbish here. No I don't care if that's wrong. 

"I'm just waiting to be rescued, bring me back to life"

There isn't much to say about this race. It was a warm up for my A race in the Cotswolds. It was hot, and I didn't wear a wetsuit. My swim was slow. My ride was slow, there were too. many. damn. dead turns. My run, well we have a phrase for that now, it is what it is. Also slow. I was 💩. The end.

2023 Vignette 1: Ride London

 While I was swimming round Swim Serpentine this morning I decided as I'd been a bit rubbish writing up my blog this year, I'd just do a quick recap or vignette of each event I have done this year.

Ride London 2023: Regretting my life choices

Why is it that everything starts with someone suggesting we enter a stupidly long event on Whatsapp? 

Michelle and I decided we would cycle together, which I very much needed to stop myself from exiting onto the shorter route, which we sailed past (well correction Michelle sailed past and I followed her, wistfully wishing I could cut the ride short). 

I really feel this image shows how much taller/bigger I am compared to a "normal" person. This is one of the official photos which I just loved and had to have despite the £10 price tag.

The photo below is the way I felt by the time we got to the last "official" stop. We got there with 10 minutes to go before cut off time, Michelle was hoping for some food but we didn't have enough time and all the free stuff had pretty much gone, apart from some gels. I thankfully had a spare bar to share. At this time I am hot, very tired, and a long way from the finish still. Temperatures were in the high 20s and way warmer than we expected.

On our way back to town we managed to find somewhere that at least had some coke which revived us and I managed to resist turning for home at the Canning Town turnaround. There might have been a stop or two to ease very painful burning feet. We finally got to London Bridge about 15 minutes after the 6pm cut off but we still got our medals 😀

Cascais 70.3: Don't Dream It's Over

So a little bit of a back story on Ironman branded 70.3s that I have done previously. Edinburgh 70.3 2017: swim cut short due to water temperature. Barcelona 70.3 2018: cut off at the first bike point due to being rubbish at hills. Weymouth 70.3 2018: swim cut short due to bad weather. So I've never finished a complete Ironman branded 70.3. Was Cascais to be my first? 

The day was due to be sunny but mild. We had some confusion over where our "street wear" bags should go which meant we had to walk back up the hill to registration, which was annoying! We then went to the start on the beach, where I positioned myself in the 45 minute wave, even though I thought my swim would take 50 minutes. There were a bunch of Tritons in that wave and Alan said I looked like I was going to be sick - I think I was super nervous! The announcer was giving a rousing speech about how great we were going to be which wasn't really helping. Finally the pros started with the ring of a bell and we were let through in waves. No beeps, just someone sending us through 6 at a time. 

I ran into the sea and dived into the waves as I'd practiced the day before and started to swim. I couldn't see anything as I'd not been able to rinse my goggles before, so had to spend a few seconds rinsing them out while treading water so I could see something. It made a big difference, although because of where the sun was and the hundreds of people in front of me it was really hard to sight or know where we were going. I just followed the crowd in front of me, which I know is bad but I didn't really have a choice. I'd forgotten quite how much I hated the washing machine effect of mass swims - although it wasn't a mass start there were so many people in the water it felt like it. We got to the first turn point and my hat started to feel like it was slipping. Unfortunately, I have a very large head and most swim caps don't really fit me especially if they are cheap, which sadly the Ironman caps have become. I tried a couple of times to pull it back over my head, because the rules clearly stated you had to wear the cap at all times, then I pulled it down so forcefully I knocked my goggles off! I gave up after that and decided if it was going to fall off it was going to fall off. And fall off it did, leaving me to attempt to sight with hair in my vision. Sigh. As we rounded the last corner, I swallowed a bit too much sea water and hacked it back up again (bleurgh!) but I could see the ramp and the way out, so I was determined to finish this damn swim and be out of the water. 

The exit was up a boat ramp so we didn't have to worry about getting sand all over our feet. But remember that boat ramp for later, OK? I was shocked to see that I'd done the swim in 44 minutes - my fastest swim for a while! 

I got into transition with a bunch of other Tritons which was great and we all got out of our swim stuff, into bike stuff and ran off to our bikes. We went out over some cobbles which was interesting (Cascais seems to be obsessed with cobbles, both on the road and on the pavements. I feel sorry for disabled people.) 

The bike started OK if a bit slowly - straight into a hill and then a short descent. Then we started the main ascent, which just seemed to go on FOREVER. I tried to tell myself it was like Cudham (a climb near Orpington that we go to), but it was like Cudham without the shade and much longer! I saw people who had had to stop already with punctures (CO2 going everywhere), and some poor soul who was walking back to transition with his bike. At about 12 km going up this damn hill my legs weren't having any more and I had to stop and have a word with myself. I was still feeling a bit sick from the sea water too. Annoyingly about half a km further up the road we came to a flat section and a little village! There were more hills though, some which looked much steeper, and descents that then ended up turning up into further climbs. I started to run out of water, which was a concern, but I knew that at 20km we would get to the circuit and I could top up. It was hot, horrible and everyone came past me. All the Ironman cyclists started coming past as well. We went past the "12% descent" followed by the speed bump and then the sharp left hand turn, then finally we were on the descent to the race circuit. I would have enjoyed this more if I'd had anything left to drink, but I was more focused on getting to the aid station so I could finally top up. I was so relieved to have done the hilly section and be on the descent towards the sea. The race circuit was tricky because I wanted to hug the racing line and someone did try to come up inside me and shout "on your left" angrily but I didn't move for them. Finally topped up and with some liquid in me I carried on out of the race circuit and down towards Estoril. I hadn't looked much at the rest of the cycle course and thought it was fairly flat with a couple of "blips". It was not flat. The first blip was evil up the hill, and I kind of lost it as I tried to U-turn far to early and ended up having to go right round a roundabout back the correct way (someone shouted at me "What are you doing?" I didn't know!). Finally I got round the blip and back down the hill towards the sea. The road to Lisbon was interminable, painful and NEVER ENDED. At one point I heard this "pssssh" behind me and I thought, that's it, game over, I have a puncture. Actually, it was my race number rubbing against my wheel. It was incredibly annoying but not race ending. Then my feet started to feel like they were burning, first the soles then the toes. It was SO SORE. In the end I had to stop and stretch to try and relieve the pain, which did help. In the end I had to take some paracetamol at the next aid station to see if that would help at all. I was also hoping that the wind we were suffering with on the way to Lisbon would be a tailwind on the way home, but if anything it seemed to be worse😖. It was great to see so many Tritons out on the course and that really lifted my spirits. On the way back along the not-so-flat-and-windy road, back past Belém, past what I now know is Padrão dos Descobrimentos, a bizarre monument to the Portuguese Age of Discovery. My feet were absolutely killing me, no amount of even taking my feet off the pedals and trying to shake them were helping. By the time I got back to Cascais (rounding the bay was a particular highlight), I was almost in tears with the pain from my burning toes, it was just agony. I was also convinced that I was over time, that I'd let down my husband, my coach, and that I was a terrible triathlete. That I shouldn't be a triathlon coach. As someone pointed out to me later, I was in a Very Dark Place. I was already planning on entering a half marathon elsewhere as I'd resigned myself to being cut off. In fact, I discovered later that I entered T2 at 13:20 when the hard cut off was 13:37. I'd started at 8:02 so I also had about 10 minutes on my 5h 30 cut off. I got through transition in 4 minutes and started the run. Transition took me a few minutes longer because I forgot my cycling shorts on so had to run back to put them back in my bag! 

So I had 3 hours and a few minutes to do my half marathon. Now, bear in mind that my last two half marathons at the end of 70.3 have taken me a good 3 and a half hours, it was hot, I had given everything in the bike, and I had been ready to be cut off at the end of the bike. I'd also not run longer than maybe 13 km in training since March. The run had a really joyous (*sarcasm*) long gradual hill climb out of the town. Did I mention it was hot too? I walked through every aid station, throwing water over myself, almost drowning myself in the process sometimes! I drank all the coke I could and cheered on the Tritons coming the other way, who seemed as surprised as I was that I'd made it to the run. The run went on forever, and did go a little bit downhill before we had to go back up again and past the lighthouse. I was wiping down my hands on my legs, and my suit felt rough, it took me a while to realise that I'd sweated so much there were dried patches of salt on my shorts. 

Somehow still running

The run took us down into the marina and back up that blasted ramp we got out of when we were swimming. Just after the ramp were Julie and Stuart, where Julie told me to go faster. Ha, I thought, this is about as fast as I can go. Round the turn around point - once again not being cut off! - and back on the climb out of town 😒. I'd just about had enough and was really struggling to run, there were a lot more walk breaks on this time around. More aid stations, more water over my face, most of them cheering and saying força or "let's go, let's go", past the weird guy dancing with horns on his head, past Thea, past Ian, past Michelle, who I told I wouldn't make the final cut off. I saw the lighthouse ahead of me, and thought, do we go past that? Yes, yes we did. At least we only had to do it twice. Round the turnaround point, and finally back into town. I was surrounded by Ironman athletes, otherwise this would have been very lonely. It was still hot. My watch says it reached 35 degrees but I think actually it was more like 26...

I finally made it back to the marina where I noticed a man with a moped following me. I knew by this stage trying to get to the end before the cut off was impossible. He came up to me and said something in Portuguese which I understood to mean "your time is over" but he didn't try to stop me, so I continued running, responding "I know". Closer to the end of the marina, the Ironman winner came past me. I wondered if they would let me through the finishing gate, and I saw Stuart and Julie again cheering me on to the finish. As I got to the end, the Ironman winner was just going through the finish with the ticker tape and everything, and THEY LET ME THROUGH! So I got the end of the ticker tape and everyone was just cheering me through the finish line! It was an incredibly surreal experience, and the winner shook my hand just after I crossed the line. They even gave me a medal and a T-shirt!

Turns out I was even in the official video 😂

I have to say even though I was 10 minutes over the cut off for the run, my run was 10 minutes faster than my two previous 70.3s. I was very proud that I actually finished and didn't just give up. 

As always, I want to thank my husband Stuart for all of his support and to coach T, who has got me back on my feet after Covid... maybe next time I'll break the curse of the Ironman 70.3.

MidnightMan 2022: The Return

 So as you might (or probably not) remember I got COVID-19 at the start of April which totally flattened me. Over the month of July I started doing longer rides and hour long runs, as well as as much swimming as I could fit in, and gradually my fitness started to increase. I went into the quarter distance of MidnightMan thinking, it will be what it will be, I'll swim, bike and "run" and see how I get on.

The swim

The swim was my first mass start for three years. I wasn't really looking forward to this because I am not a big fan of mass starts, but actually it was absolutely fine, no washing machine dramas, I think someone did try to swim over my legs but I just kicked them away. As the water was 24.5 C it was no wetsuit for the quarter which was not an issue for me as I prefer to swim without my wetsuit! As we were waiting for the start, someone asked me where the red buoy was (the only buoy you have to turn left instead of right) so I told them it was round the corner out of sight. I believe this was Ron, who I ended up attempting to draft near the end of the swim. In my swim coaching I had been learning about timing your stroke to the other person's stroke so I was doing that on our way in to the finish. I have had the most horrible coldsore this week and it had turned into a big scab, and let me tell you trying to breathe out of your mouth in the water with a painful scab on your lip is not fun!

The bike

My transition went far better than usual, probably thanks to not having to faff around with taking my wetsuit off, and I set off on the bike with much cheering from the fabulous marshalls. A big thank you to them for cheering me on every time I came past! MidnightMan is a race with many many dead turns. I am not the greatest at these but at least this time I managed to do them all without having to put my foot out! It was a very warm night with a bit of a headwind as we went out onto Bob Dunn Way (oh Bob Dunn Way, I have not missed you!). They have had to cut the bottom loop short so we had to do 6 laps for the quarter distance. Let me tell you that was more than enough. I really felt for those who had to do the long distance of 26 laps. With four dead turns on every lap, and a nasty corner to get out onto Bob Dunn Way, it would be a lot. Every lap I would go past the main turning into the Bridge, where there was a truck trying its very best to block traffic, with one person trying really hard to drive over the grass so they could get through 😒. I would also go past a family who had these giant round glasses full of some green cocktail - I like to think it was mojito but who knows? I noticed on about my third lap that they were looking a bit empty so I told them it was time for a top up and the next time I went round they proudly told me that they'd got a top up 😂. We also had some idiot on a quad bike come down right the middle of the cyclists - seriously mate I mean... really? I had to stop half way to refill my hydration as I was so thirsty I'd drunk a whole bottle in about 45 minutes. Did I mention it was warm? I also had to tell both Sophie and Duncan that it was 6 laps for the bike... this is why you listen to the race briefing guys and not turn up just before the race starts hoping to wing it!! I kept looking out for Stuart, but every time I went past the transition point he'd disappeared. I got good cheers from the lovely marshalls though!

The run

I'd come into this race with the full intention of walking the run if I absolutely had to. In fact I only walked a little bit just after transition and then I spent most of the rest of the run at a "comfortable" jog. It was dark by this stage and kind of cooler - thankfully! I was very glad of my hydration pack that I'd put on at transition, so I could drink whenever I needed to. I still felt like I was overheating and was a bit jealous of the guys who had just taken off the top of their trisuits (although I'm pretty sure that's a DQ in the BTF rules!). I'd met not-Stuart in transition at the start of the race, and I called him not-Stuart because he'd introduced himself to me and then said that he could have been Stuart as that was the name of the person between us and that was the name I remembered 😂. Anyway I checked afterwards and his real name was Sean, so sorry not-Stuart/Sean for not remembering your name. I high-fived not-Stuart every time I saw him with a "Boom" for full effect. Dimitrij also came past me at full speed on his way to coming second in the half distance. My final lap included helping some guy out who decided to leave his bottle of water on top of his car (!) and the faster runners from the half distance coming past me with barely a "well done". Someone did say well done to me on the way out on my second lap and I think my response was "aaaauuuuhhh" clearly trying to form words at that point was hard work haha!

I feel proud of myself, but also know that I have a lot of work to do in order to be fast enough to finish Cascais in October. I'd like to thank Coach T, for making sure I didn't stay a blob on the couch post-Covid. And of course my lovely husband Stuart for giving up his evening to (apparently) cheer me on. Although he did walk with me on my first run lap back to transition. Finally, thanks to John for running the MidnightMan for the past 10 years and doing his very best to make it a great experience and very inclusive for everyone! Oh AND I wasn't last! In fact I came second in the female veterans over 40 group, out of three 😀

This isn't triathlon, this is DNFing with style

So a quick recap of this year so far: I decide to quit my job in favour of following my dreams as a triathlon coach, and then in the last month of my work I catch COVID (at a microbiology conference, #irony). My recovery from COVID has been a lot slower than I expected and it completely flattened me. I have lost a lot of stamina and been experiencing very annoying dizziness. One minute I was training for a marathon, the next I couldn't even walk to the local park and back.

So up to last week my training has been very softly softly gently gently. Finally last week I managed to cycle into town and back. I feel like I have turned a corner, but unfortunately not in time for Cotswolds 113. After discussion with my coach, we agreed that I would do the swim, one lap of the ride and, if I felt up to it, one lap of the run.

The day of the race dawned wet. I hardly slept at all, the place where we are staying has a very uncomfortable bed and the patter of rain just sounded like nails on the roof. I had to put all my transition stuff into a plastic bag. I had a sweet spot right at the end of the rack which meant I had a little more space to put my stuff and it was not hard at all to find my bike. 

The swim started wet. I tried to find somewhere to stay dry. I bumped into loads of people who said hi, which was lovely, AND I remembered something to eat pre-swim. The wait to start was pretty miserable with the rain but finally I set off into the much warmer water for my swim. The swim went as well as it could have done, I was trying to take it gently and not overdo it, and some parts felt like I was swimming really nicely. No nasty weeds after the previous day's surfing over horrid green mounds. I finished the swim in 54:25, which according to Strava is only 9 seconds slower than last year, so I'm really pleased with that! No goggle leaks, no swim cap issues, all good.

Into transition and it took me forever to put my stuff on for the bike. I don't know if I was tired, or wet, or cold, or a combination of all of these. I was clearly following the Gary method of transition, all I needed was a sofa. Onto the bike, could not get comfortable, my trisuit got caught around my saddle and I had to readjust down the road. The bike was pretty miserable all things considered. I felt like I was carrying a lead weight around with me and it was only later on in the bike that I figured that I hadn't put the blasted front wheel on properly and the brakes were rubbing. Sorry Mark, I failed. I did get to see Stuart on the bike who was marshalling in some place in the middle of nowhere that seemed pretty lonely, poor bloke. Alex came past me and shouted "We need to find a new sport!". Well that's easier said than done for someone who's just given up everything to invest themselves into this very specific sport. I had to stop to catch my breath and stretch (I'd forgotten quite how painful it was to sit on a bike for over two hours) a couple of times, always catching the concern of the marshalls. The one great thing about this race is the marshalls, they are always lovely and full of cheer and support. Thank you.

I was so glad I only had to do one lap and I didn't have to sit on my bike for another two plus hours. The only issue with coming in early was that all the fast people were out on the run course. They took my timing chip off me when I declared I was coming in early, so I got to my spot and prepared to pack up. However a marshall saw me and managed to convince me that I could still do at least part of the run even minus my timing chip. So, after I'd put everything away, I took out my trainers and went out... almost forgetting my bib as I went. Lots of people were trying to cheer me on on the run but they didn't know that I was essentially maxed out by that stage. The other issue is that the run is really narrow in places, and you remember I said I was out with the faster runners? Yeah I got in their way. Obviously. Sorry... The run was hard, and I spent a lot of time walking. When I got to the first turn point I asked if I could go back to transition after explaining I'd already DNF'd (I know that's not a word, but 🤷). I plodded round the final corner, past transition, and that was the end of my race. Just in time for Stuart to have finished his duties and we could go home.

I didn't really know how to feel after the race, apart from exhaustion (I spent the rest of the afternoon asleep!). I just hope this is the start of the rebuild of my fitness. A total refresh.

Cotswolds 113 2021: What's love got to do with it?

Before I start my race report, a few things happened before this race. Firstly, I pulled/tore my calf back in March, resulting in me only getting up to 10k a couple of weeks ago. Secondly, my race bike decided to dissolve on itself meaning I had to get a new bike a month before my race. Which I only had measured to fit a week before the race. I also had massive bike anxiety, even on my old faithful commuter bike, mostly due to angry London drivers.

So here we were, race day. I'd slept badly the night before, even worse after the slats on the bed decided to fall off for no particularly good reason. I was very anxious. What was I doing here and who was I kidding? It was great to see the Team Twinkle ladies though and I got a lovely hug or two. It was a very grey cloudy day and I noticed a lot of people had covered their shoes etc over so I took a spare plastic bag and my waterproof swim bag and covered mine over too.

I chatted to some lovely Twinkle ladies I'd not met before at the start and then it was time to go. Too late, my stomach rumbled and I realised I'd not eaten my protein bar before my swim. Sorry coach, that was stupid. As I got into the water, my foot caught a rough piece of stone and scraped all the way up my Achilles. Ouch. 

I absolutely hated the swim - I say this as a lifelong swimmer and someone who will willingly swim in the sea, the local lido, the docks etc. I think the lack of food (since a small pot of porridge in the early hours) really didn't help. I spent most of my time with the song "I'm outta love" going round my head, cursing myself for entering this race, and seriously considering leaving triathlon and never training or coaching again. I did eventually realise that the reason I was grumpy was because I was hungry and was determined to grab some nutrition when I got to the bike. I got round, a little bit of argy bargy round the buoys, and finally to Shouty Dave at the exit helping us out of the water. Swim done in 50 minutes, definitely room for improvement there.

Into transition, and time to get on with the bike. As I said above, I only got my new bike, Bob, four weeks ago. For the first time, things seemed to click and we motored along at what is a pretty respectable pace for me - I've definitely got more speed in me so I need to work on this too. The bike was absolutely miserable - drizzle pretty much all the way. I say this every time, but I always bring terrible weather. Rain, wind, or baking heat, not very much in the middle. This time was the drizzle, descending to proper rain at one stage. I had the song "Desperado" going round my head, "Desperado, why don't you come to your senses, ... you better let somebody love you, before it's too late"  I ate and drank as much as I could on the bike even though my nutrition did get a bit soggy by the end... I even had to stop to refill my water bottle and had a couple of concerned cyclists go past and ask if I was OK. I had this nifty cycle saddle that you can adjust but the issue is it seems to self adjust mid ride so I had to get off at the aid station and get a nice man with a set of Allen keys to readjust it. Thankfully it stayed in place for the rest of the ride, but I'm not best pleased with it. I didn't have to stop as much as last year and actually managed to overtake some people near the end.  It was great to see Helen out on the race course after last year, and Stuart near the start, for some much needed cheering.

Shuffling on the run

And finally on to the run, my legs refused to work (not enough brick training?). I shuffled round to Stuart, by which stage I had started to hyperventilate. I told him I wasn't sure I could carry on, but he encouraged me to keep going. Off I shuffled, like some kind of loon, everyone coming past me including Angela who I'd come into transition with. I got my breathing under control, but then a familiar pain started. My calf was acting up. By the time I got back to Stuart, I wasn't sure if I should continue and risk further injury. I decided to take a couple of paracetamol and continue going. The finish line was absolutely rammed with spectators - a big change from last year where they weren't allowing people to cheer us on - and you were hit with a wall of noise as you went past. I saw Tracey and told her about my calf and she said that we always knew it was going to be an issue. Onto the second lap, and it was starting to get a bit quieter. Also the sun started to come out - it ALWAYS comes out on the run, and then you boil after freezing for hours. Past Stuart, more soggy hugs and kisses (poor bloke). Got more cheers from Twinkles including "by far our favourite scientist"...  I met this lovely lady called Jo from Celtic Tri who I ran/walked with for a while. I realised that some of my pain in my leg was actually due to the graze I'd gathered earlier on in the day when getting into the lake (rolls eyes)... The paracetamol was doing its job so it didn't hurt so much. I was surprised when I caught up with Angela and passed her as I thought she would have been finished way ahead of me, but she admitted later that she went off too quick and faded about half way around. My feet started to hurt and I suspected blisters but I kept plodding on until somehow I was on the final lap, it was getting quieter but I caught up with Jo again and we spent a good couple of km keeping each other going. Back through the little village and someone said "Oh I thought you were last" I said "I probably am" but there were people behind me. The marshalls were amazing again and I really appreciate their support. I had made it to the end, with barely enough energy to raise my arms in joy at the finish.

And I finally got to go back to bed as I promised myself and have a nice snooze

London Marathon: a step too far

 So as we know this year has been full of cancellations and postponements for races. For someone who likes to enter races throughout the year it has been disappointing. Thus when the opportunity to enter the virtual London marathon came along I jumped at the chance. It was two weeks after my middle distance race, that should be training enough right? 

Oh Hilary. 

I planned a run down the Thames path, which was nice and flat, and using the route planner I figured I had to run from my house to the Oxo building and back to get to finish at Woolwich. 

The weather report was pretty grim, so I set myself up for the morning with a gilet and arm warmers. I also had my husband put physio tape round my arms where it had rubbed two weeks before and hadn't healed quite yet. 

I planned to leave at 7am and I think I was a couple of minutes late. Out the door into the rain for a very very long day. 

Ready to go out

The first bit of my run down the hill I felt warm and wondered if I'd over layered.  That was the only time I felt warm. It may have been early but there were already others out there. I saw one lady who was going to Grove Park and two Danson runners before I turned off towards Galleons Reach. I was glad that I had done a recce the week before so I knew the way to the Thames path.  I ran past the statues and wondered how long it would be before I saw them again. Out of Woolwich, down past the old Siemens buildings and the climbing wall, then on past the Thames barrier. Lots of faster runners were coming past me by this stage. The wind was really strong and the rain was just coming down. 

The route onto the peninsula began with several very large puddles. It was either attempt to climb around them or just wade through them. I just waded through, my feet getting soaked. The path was very narrow so I had to let runners and cyclists go by me. On went the wind and the rain. I knew that my husband was waiting for me at the O2 which pushed me on. Poor Stuart couldn't use his umbrella because of the wind. Finally I saw him. I was about 10 minutes late at this stage. I grabbed some water and coke and carried on. It was such a nice surprise to go past Ed's group of runners on my way round the peninsula to Greenwich. On went the wind and rain, through the puddles on through the narrow Thames path to Greenwich. Greenwich was a hive of activity and runners despite the rain and I got lots of cheers on my way through. 

Out of Greenwich, through Deptford and past an old friend's flat in Rotherhithe. At this point my phone starts going a bit mad (because of the rain) and decided on its own to call the emergency number. Suddenly I'm being asked if I need an ambulance. I felt so bad for the misdial. On went the wind and rain. The Thames path goes a bit fiddly at this stage, but I was joined by fellow Triton Ruth who showed me the straighter route. Thanks to Ruth, who sadly left me to get some drink, I managed to find the end of the run I used to do from work to Canada Water. Now I was on more familiar ground, I ran through Rotherhithe, past Tom and Rachel which was lovely, and on through the wind and the rain until I got to Tower Bridge. I tried at this point to get my phone out to send a message to my husband but it was wet and the touchscreen wasn’t working properly. After several futile attempts, I managed to send him a message that said “London beDGE3”. I meant London Bridge, although I hadn’t got there yet. There were lots of other runners and walkers in ponchos all doing the marathon as well, it was amazing with the weather. 

Finally I got to London Bridge, and I saw Ruth coming the other way. She’d managed to pass me somewhere where the path goes close to the river while she did the more straight version. She told me I didn’t have far to go to get to the OXO tower, where I’d arranged to meet Stuart. Everything was hurting by that stage. I was wet, cold, miserable, and wondering why I’d got myself into this. Past the Tate building and the Millennium bridge, oh London it’s been a long time. Finally, there was the OXO building and Stuart waiting in the shelter. I’m not ashamed to say I burst into tears when I saw him. It was so utterly miserable, my body was starting to hurt badly, and I just wanted to go home and stop torturing myself. Stuart gently reminded me that I could do this, that I was doing it for charity, and that I’d hate myself if I gave up. So, I pulled myself together, grabbed another glug of coke, filled up my water bottles clumsily with slightly frozen hands, and started the hobble back to Greenwich. 

Over half way, cold, wet, fed up

When I say hobble I mean it. My hip has always given me gyp when I do longer distances and because I hadn’t trained for the marathon it was particularly bad. I’d given myself a walk/run schedule, but my shuffle back was more limp/walk rather than run/walk. I shuffled back the way I’d came, passing Ed and her merry group of runners which was another cheering moment, but also by a guy who shouted at me “Stop running! You’re going to give yourself a stroke!” which was a concerning moment! I was messaging my friend Thea and husband when I got a chance, but because my phone had gone bonkers all I could send was messages in CAPITAL LETTERS so I’m sorry about all the shouting… Luckily I’d taken a spare charger in a plastic case and my phone hadn’t got to the “I’m too wet to charge” state yet so I could charge my phone while I ran/walked/hobbled. On went the wind and the rain, the other runners and walkers coming past me. Finally I got to Greenwich. I was wildly later than I said I would be (because I was hobbling) so my poor husband was waiting super patiently back at the O2. I’d also wildly overestimated my distance so I was nearly at 40km when I got to Greenwich. Back out of Greenwich I went, through the puddles, chatting to some random runner who wasn’t doing the marathon but was still running in the horrendous weather (why???). I hobbled on, unable to run now, getting to the O2, but it always seemed to never get any closer. I was in a LOT of pain by this stage, every step was torture. Past the golfing range (all the golfers tucked under a nice roof!), and there was the O2. Step by painful step I got there, and there was my poor saturated husband who had been waiting some time for me to turn up. I literally had maybe half a kilometre to go before I’d done the marathon distance. However, looking at the marathon app, it seemed to think I had at least a mile. Stuart agreed to walk with me to my friend Thea who was waiting for me nearer the Thames Barrier. So I had to continue, step by agonising step, finishing the marathon, and then carrying on walking towards the Thames Barrier. I just wanted to go home. I’d had enough of the wind, the rain, the pain, I wanted to get dry and warm again. But it was so lovely to see Thea who’d made a special effort to come out and cheer me on. Plus the extra distance I did meant that the app thought I’d finished the marathon as well, although about 20 minutes later than I actually had. 

I swore I would never enter another marathon again. And, nearly a month later, I’m still dealing with the after effects of running at least 10km on an injured IT band.

Finally finished!

It took a month for my medal to arrive, which was weird when I got the medal and you’re not sweaty and horrible.

Cotswolds 113 - If you're going through hell, keep going

 Last year - who knows when - there was a discussion on the TeamTwinkle page about doing Cotswolds 113. It was due to run in June and had a good deferral policy if for some reason we couldn't do it. I was going to say it was the only event this year I had booked, but then I remembered Brighton Marathon, and the Dart 10k.... never mind

Anyway, of course we know what happened next. Pandemic, lockdown, cancellation after cancellation of events. Cotswolds 113 was pushed back to September. I stopped training for a bit, couldn't swim, stuck my bike on the turbo trainer and didn't really push myself as much as I should have. In fact, most of my training was pretty much not pushing myself as hard as I should have, with runs in zone 2 resulting in pretty much half being walking.

My husband and I had decided to take the week before off as holiday and we spent a lovely week in surprisingly warm sunny Fairford. I'd convinced him to bring his bike along so we did a bit of a recce of some of the course before which helped my confidence a bit (after spending so much time on the turbo it takes me a bit of getting used to being back on the road again).  Unfortunately on the Friday my husband came off his bike just as we were setting off down the road so he spend most of Friday at the Great Western Hospital. Thankfully he didn't break anything but he was very bruised, battered and got nasty concussion, poor chap.

On race day, we had to vacate our property in the morning. So we were up at 4:30, making sure we'd taken everything with us, and packed up the car ready for the day ahead. We got to the car park in good time, and it was still dark. I of course hadn't packed a head torch but thankfully our phone torches just about worked so I could get the bike back together and set off towards transition. With the new COVID procedures in place, I had to state that I hadn't had any symptoms within the last two weeks and get temperature checked. That done, I could go into transition and start setting up. The guy next to me started chatting to me and told me that this was his first triathlon. He wandered off around the time I started admonishing my bike for being a pain (sometimes when I put the wheel in it doesn't run smooth). I can't be the only one who talks to their bike, right? 

Transition all set up

With my transition set up I was trying to feed myself through the mask which was kind of working (!) and I put my wetsuit on. I somehow managed to stretch the cap they had given us so it would actually fit on my (stupidly large) head and walked to transition. I watched the earlier waves go off, every 10 seconds, and noted how some were leaving their sandals at the start so they didn't have to walk over the stony ground. I decided to do the same, but forgot to set up my watch, which meant I got in the way while I was starting it up (oops!).

The swim - I really don't miss mass starts

The lake was a good temperature, but it was pretty cool outside so the swim was a bit on the chilly side. It was nice not to have to attempt to fight everyone during the mass start and didn't feel like I was crowded at all at any point in the swim. Of course you then don't know where you are in the race but given I was pretty confident I'd be near the end it was nice to see a line of yellow hats behind me. Water was a little choppy in places but I've definitely experienced worse. My swim line shows a pretty straight line through the course although it was slow, I'm pretty happy with my effort.

Out of the water and into a "neutralised" transition - they gave you 10 minutes of essentially free time to change and get your bike out to try and reduce the amount of contact you might have with other competitors. Thankfully my bike was sitting on its own so I didn't have to wait to get to it. Off on the bike course...

The bike - That feckin wind

And onto the bike I got. It's fair to say I've had two outings on my bike this year outdoors post lockdown, neither of which were anywhere near long enough, and usually involved a bit of stopping and resting (even had cake in the middle of one!). So I was nowhere near prepared for the ordeal of 90km on terrible roads and with a headwind that was absolutely unrelenting. I spent the first half of the ride freezing and then it started to warm up. I refilled my water bottle at 30 and 60 km, let myself have a couple of minutes rest, and kept going. It was awful. About half way round I was already in agony, my backside felt like it was being tortured by the saddle, and by 50km I was ready to cry. Every lump on the road (and there were many!) was another descent into misery. So many people came past me cheering me on - I had my TeamTwinkle suit on - that was a special bit of the day. The marshalls were brilliant too. I'd convinced myself I'd get to 60 km and stop and have a word with myself. The far turnaround point was about that so I stopped and had a chat to the marshalls. After filling up my water bottle and getting going again, I did feel better, even if my bike did feel like a red hot poker on my backside (I think I need a new saddle!). The last few kilometers were just awful, searing pain, sore top of back, hot weather, endless lumps on the road (you could see others had suffered with many water bottle "casualties" at the side of the road) and I was just fed up  of the wind. I demanded a kiss off my poor husband as I came past his marshalling spot to keep me going and then I did the final TT section, and finally got on the road to transition. Which was far longer than I remembered. I felt like I was nearly last by that stage, although there were a couple of others behind me. The bliss of being able to get to the dismount line and finally off the torture device that was my bike was like nothing else. I really needed more time outside on the bike this year.

The run - if you're going through hell, keep going

Through "neutralized" transition again, and on to the run. By this stage any semblance of cold had well and truly disappeared and it was HOT. I mean, not Hamburg hot, but hot enough. The fact that I didn't need to use the toilet at all between swim and the end of my run (about 7 hours of exercise) suggests that I was very dehydrated, which is probably why I couldn't get my legs going at all. That and the endless runs in zone 2 resulted in a desultory run which was poor even for me. The first lap was quite busy, with quite a few still on the course, and loads of people coming past me, more Twinkle support (thanks guys!). I was really pleased I'd taken my running pack so I could carry a bottle of Tailwind and a bottle of coke with me. The run seemed to involve lots of the lake that we'd previously swum in, an interminable stretch down to Somerford Keynes, most of which was in the burning sunshine, and on the first lap there were several people cheering us on all the time eating ice cream! Gah! I managed to shuffle round the first lap somehow, then got past the finish line where my husband and several Twinks were waiting. Again the support from the marshalls was absolutely brilliant. At some point the Twinkle behind me overtook me and offered to help with my running but I shoo'd her on. She finished well before I did. The second lap was interminable, again round the lake, again down the hot hot road towards Somerford Keynes, and finally to the aid station. I asked them if they'd still be there when I came around again, and they reassured me they'd be waiting for me. I threw more water down my throat, refilled my water bottle, threw water over myself and kept on going. I was half way, even if everyone kept saying "Nearly there now" I knew I still had over an hour of running to go. It was hell. Again. Someone came past me telling me they had only a km and a half to go, but of course I didn't, I had another lap. Finally, I get to the finish line (you could hear it from a mile away!) and started on my final lap. Got past transition, wondering how many bikes would be left by the time I came around again, then started off on my final lap. It was about this stage a very lovely marshal called Helen decided to join me on my shuffle/stumble/pootle. She was walking so fast that she didn't have to run beside me to keep up with me. I can't really remember much of what she was talking to me about (or prattling on, as she insisted) but it really helped me round my final lap. To my amazement she joined me for the entire 7 km or whatever it was. Soon enough there was a mountain biker behind us with a Cotswold t-shirt on and I knew I must be last or nearly last. It took me back to Edinburgh where I had a whole cohort following me on my last lap. So on we went, step by very slow step, round the lake, through the trees, on to the burning hot road that never ended to Somerford Keynes. I showed Helen the way and noticed the roads seemed to have lost a lot of the marshalls (there were only a few of us left on the course by that stage). Thankfully the water station was still there so I was able to get my last sploosh over the head with water and back round through the lovely village. As Helen was a maths teacher (or newly ex-teacher) she was able to do the calculations of how much further we had to go, so first it was 5 km ("just a Parkrun"), then it was 3 km, then just over 1 km... on the final stretch I seemed to find something from somewhere and actually got Helen running as I got to the finish line. Over I went, elated and totally and utterly spent.

Finished!