The Bus That Talks

"This is the 243 to Waterloo"
"Rosebery Avenue"

Yes, it's true. I've found a bus that talks. And it tells you where you are going. It's incredibly helpful when you have no idea where you are.

I wonder how long it'll take before it gets annoying... never mind, I'm moving next week... I hope!

Printer Farce

Last week, I mostly tried to get a printer. It was supposed to be delivered last Friday and arrived on Wednesday. There was a catalogue of mishaps along the way, including:
- My father allready being a member of the site, which meant I couldn't register with the same address, and because I was busy the next day I had to leave it to poor Tony, who was having a bad day anyway
- The printer being "delivered" on Friday - not sure what happened there, but I sat around all day jumping every time I heard a car go past
- The bloke turning up on Monday morning, just as I was going to London, being told that my mother was in the house and not bothering to knock loudly, just leaving a card
- The delivery being "returned to the branch after an unsuccessful delivery attempt" on Tuesday i.e. they couldn't find us
- Finally turning up on Wednesday, after I'd rung to check where they were and being told they couldn't find us again, only with one box - printer cartridges and no printer
- Calling them again, only for them to assume I was still chasing both boxes, and finally getting two minutes to explain I'd got one box and not two. Then I was told that they'd only loaded one box onto the van that morning. Duh. They said they'd see if they could get someone on their way home to deliver the printer
- The bloke turned up at 7:30, saying "Here's your delivery they cocked up for you"... never has a truer word been said

Worst of all... they're going to deliver something to me tomorrow. Agggh. I really hope they can get it right this time, otherwise I'll have no nice new shoes for next week! (that'll then lacerate my feet... ah well can't have everything!)

Messing About By The River

Yesterday I got to be fraightfully posh and go to Henley. Henley, for those of you who don't know, is all about rowing. Well, mostly anyway.

My father in byegone days was once a great rower and rowed this course several times. This is why he comes every year to watch, and got annoyed when, in years gone by, a certain daughter of his had Parent's Day on the last day of Henley (which, needless to say, is the finals day...). I got home on Wednesday night after midnight (not drinking, just for a change, babysitting for my sister's incredibly well behaved and very sweet children) with a horrendous throat and as a result, wasn't feeling terribly special.
We ate the most delicious lunch - I had a half pint full of shell-on prawns, very fiddly but yummy with seafood sauce, followed by crab with new potatoes and salad and to finish, half a platter of cheese. Mmm. Oh, and I probably finished off a good half a bottle of wine.
After that rather filling lunch we - that is me, my godfather and my father, decided to go up to the start, which involved a rather interesting walk along the river which was quite narrow in places, and getting out of the posh area and seeing what is rather sadly the commercialization of this event - at what point do you really want to buy silver jewellery/fat face tops/an ergo at a rowing event? We did go into the food tent where I succumbed to buying beautiful tea that expands into a flower and my father bought some garlic for my mother...

When it got to tea time, the rain started, but, in a very British manner, we sat down with our umbrellas opened, had cake and scones with champagne and eventually went home.

And There Shall Be Much Rejoicing

... for I have been offered my dream job.

Sometimes I wish I knew more internet trickery so I could bring you them dancing.

Pop Goes The Gooseberry

Half a pound of tuppeny rice
Half a pound of treacle
That's the way the money goes
Pop goes the weasel

We've had a lot of rain here. Although, we're lucky because some poor people have been flooded badly up north. The problem with rain, if you're growing fruit, is that it seems to make ripe fruit burst. So, it was, as I was picking gooseberries, that this rhyme went round my head. There's something about picking fruit that makes me think random thoughts, such as "what does this rhyme really mean?" I came to the conclusion that it was a subversive rhyme suggesting that if you bought rice and treacle, you would have no money and be fat. I was almost right.
Last time I picked gooseberries, I decided that fruit plants had a "zen". I did warn you my mind wanders. The zen of fruit plants was that they attempt to hide all their fruit under their leaves so that I didn't see the ripe ones. And, in the case of gooseberries, protect them with evil thorns to put you off.
Nevertherless, I got a whole punnet of mostly non-popped gooseberries.

However, before I picked the gooseberries, I picked a whole load of tayberries. These fruit may look the same, but because they're redder and smaller, are different. My mother told me not to pick them any more, but then in the afternoon started picking them anyway. Yes, I was confused too.

I Thought Cats Sat On Laps?

So Much For The City

Well, here I am. Last week all I could see from my bedroom window was a street lined with houses leading down a (very steep) hill to the train station, this week all I can see is fields.
I miss the city.

Making It Up As We Go Along

This weekend I went to a friend of mine's house who happens to be Indian. We started to watch some Bollywood movies, the first was Bride and Prejudice, which was actually quite good and in English. The second film was entirely in Hindi with the odd English word thrown in, with no subtitles. So we made up what they were saying which made the film probably far more amusing than it really should have been.

Having A Rammstein Moment

Many years ago my then boyfriend introduced me to 80s rock bands. Many of the music he left me with (after a badly-executed finale) is still top of my playlist. One of the songs he gave me was Rammstein - Du Hast.

For those of you who don't know, Rammstein are a German rock band that, apparently, are still touring. I did try and find a decent picture but random won me over in the end.

Anyway, the years have gone by, and hard times have befallen the Tall Scientist, who is about to be demoted to Mother's Fruit Picker and Plant-Fixer. It's not that I mind helping my parents, it's just that I'm 28 now and I'd really like a life and a place of my own, but I've managed to mess that up by not being offered any of the jobs I've been interviewed for. In my rollercoaster ride of trying to find a new job, I have encountered excitement, hope and despair. There's not much I can do about the last one, but I have found a solution. It's Rammstein. Something about angry German music (never, ever listen to it in English, it's just not the same) just makes things better.

Oefs Sur La Visage

Ah... Eurovision. I'm sure at some point this was actually a competition where members of Europe competed in a song contest. Now, they let countries such as Russia, Georgia and Serbia compete, with the end result being that the Balkan states run away with the competition.
The entire show runs on one premise: introduction, then before each country's entrant comes on, they show some kind of random skit about the country (this year, it was in Helsinki, and I gather most of the skits were about snow...) , then the entrant (a lot of freaky people and/or traditional style). Interspersed with this was commercial breaks (filled for us by some scary woman in pink) and, as always, keeping the sanity in what is otherwise completely mad, our Terry Wogan (who DID NOT like the woman in pink!!!!), then another interval after all the entrants for everyone to vote where they have a weird show, which this year for some reason or other included some very mad cellists and a bloke in a bubble.... Then every country in "Europe", even the ones that got kicked out in the semi-final, get to vote, with points ranging from 1 to 12 being awarded to the other countries. At this point the "neighbour" voting comes into place, with Norway giving the most points to Sweden, Macedonia giving the most points to Serbia, etc etc. The UK, being not a very popular country, narrowly missed being stuck with the dreaded "nul points". A couple of years ago, just round the time of our invasion of Iraq, we did get that, and it was embarrassing. So, I have some suggestions for next year:-
1) Get Gordon Brown to make a suggestion that Balkan States become part of the EU (it'll never pass, and they might like us more!)
2) Get some kind of weirdo to represent us - that bloke from Dead or Alive would do
3) Get morris dancers to do it
4) Get someone whose family originally came from a Balkan State to do it (then they'd all vote for us!)
Bye, bye Scooch.

I'm Sure This Photo Needs a Caption...

How about....

"Awww, luv, I wish you wouldn't do that in public"

So Far This Week....

- someone created a small fire below our labs and due to smoke damage we now cannot do 90% of the work we do for an entire week (and consequently can't work)
- someone hacked into my Ebay account and tried to sell stuff, causing me some panic. If I'd been away this week, I would have been in all sorts of trouble...
- I tried to fix the broken front screen of my mobile, only to discover that in fact I needed a whole new fascia
- my back wheel on my bicycle went over something, it went "whoomph" and was suddenly very flat.
- trying to do tongue twisters for my singing teacher almost made me cry (not his fault)
- my badminton friend fell over and broke her arm, and will be plastered up and out of action for six weeks (not my fault, and slightly tenuous)
- in organising my life I have come across various problems, and am currently on Plan D or something... whimper
- I've had two very horrible vivid dreams, one involving a big flood with zombies who could walk through water and the other being semi-naked at work (although I obviously wasn't too bothered about this, as in my dream I just looked down and thought that maybe I should put on a pair of trousers soon....)

A Change For The Good?

In my email inbox today....

Dear Hilary,

I am pleased to inform you that you have been included on the shortlist for the position of xxxxxxxxxxxx on xxxxxxxxxxx. Please take a look at the web site to familiarize yourself with the journals http://www.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To give us an indication of your skills and expertise -- and to give you some idea of what the job will entail -- we would like you to complete the enclosed written test.

---------------------------------------------------

Hilary - your horoscopes for Sat 21, April 2007!

Gemini (May22-June21)
Studying for a test will yield impressive results; you soak up information like a sponge. A friend who is in the printing, publishing, or communications industry could help you find a good job.



This is my time. I have to shine like a star or else.

Celebrity Spotting

Alan Titchmarsh in the centre of Bristol today, by the fountains. Sadly my phone camera wasn't working so I had to cycle on by.

Things You Never Knew About Your Boyfriend (And Never Thought To Ask)

Recognise this person? No? I'll leave it to you guys to guess this one.

Ross got it in 15 seconds. I never knew he had such an encyclopedic knowledge of films. He'll be on my team if I go for a pub quiz next time. His knowledge of films and my knowledge (ha) of science/nature and pop music would be a great combo.

Those of you who played this on Thursday, don't give the game away!

What Happens When You Wear Pretty Shoes

I will warn you now, that the picture I'm about to link to is gross. Those of you with a sensitive disposition, please do not whinge to me when you open it and, in fact find it really horrid.

This is what happens when I decide to walk home in my favourite shoes. It was so bad by the time I got home I bled all over the kitchen. Oops.

Just to make it worse, this morning I bashed the same toe against the door, drawing yet more blood, which caused a large amount of gurning and probably just the odd profanity or two...

I'm feeling very icky today. I definitely have a sensitive disposition...

My House Is Sweating

While I was away having a great great time over the weekend (more about that soon...) the landlady brought a plasterer round to sort out the walls. It's amazing. The Artex (or however you spell it) has GONE. No more drunken or carrying incidents where you brush against the wall and draw blood. Instead, I have a very dark and very brown hallway (it's not very nice, believe me.). The plaster goes on wet, so as it dries, as I have just discovered, all that water has to go somewhere. My front door was literally dripping - I mean, it was truly disgusting - this morning. My house smells of milky tea (yuk!). So now I'm going to have to freeze my arse off with the windows, doors etc open to let some of this excess moisture escape out of the house...

And my hallway is almost inevitably going to be brown until I leave. Nice.

Vauxhall Corsa Was Not Made For The Taller Person....

..... and I have to drive it all the way to Milton Keynes and back.

This'll be interesting.

Blame It On The DJ

I decided this morning I should stay positive, despite:
having no job in two months
having to move to London and live on no money
my experiments, which were going through a really good patch, completely failing on me again
being full of goo (yet another cold)
being at least a stone overweight
not being at all sure where my current relationship is going

when the DJ starts one of those "back in the day" slots where he plays music from a particular year. This music reminds me of:
not having to worry about money
going to the other side of the world and having a bloody good time, every night
most of all, meeting a guy who I flirted with all the way up the east coast of Australia

Ah well, I guess I'd better get back to my experiment that doesn't work, figuring out how I'm going to get to my car rental tomorrow and applying for yet more jobs...

Friday Is Good Because....

....I had loads of results to show at the lab meeting this morning, and most of it worked as well!

....I got fed LOTS of lunch (although I did have to wait two hours later that I normally would for food, which was bad)

.....I got offers of two interviews.... although now I realise that they're two different groups operating in the same place, eeek

.....I didn't have too much work to do today, which was good given that I cant work on a) no food or b) too much food