No, I Don't Want to Give You £x a Week, Or Convert To Your Religion

It all started with the phone calls. Once upon a time people never got blasted at every turn with people trying to grab your money, although I might be feeling wistful here. Now we get someone at every turn. Phone calls are easy, as you can just hang up on them (if you don't want to be horribly rude to them as my father is). So are emails - delete (you can say that in a cyberman-stylee way if you like). One of the first ever crank calls I got was from someone telling me I'd won a trip to Florida. Sounds lovely, if it wasn't for the fact four hurricanes hadn't just torn through the entire state.
Even spam is nicer than emails that tell you you've won $1 million but you will have to pay some "transfer expenses" to get it. Ha.

Now we have the group of people in town all wearing similar bibs all trying to grab your money. If you miss one, then you're more than likely to be hit by the next. Yes, I know that you're just trying to support the aged or the pandas or people in Africa with no water but all I want to do is go into town and be LEFT ALONE. If I wanted to give money to these people I would do it when I had a moment at the computer. I made the mistake of stopping to chat to a Sustrans bloke. I know they do good work, but to be honest when I'm cycling to work of a Thursday, I don't want to be stopped and asked for money.
On Saturday, while I was washing up, I had to answer the door to a Jehovah's witness. I only know that because I was bothered by her before. I told her I was busy and held up my froth-filled hands. She asked me whether I would like her to come back and go through the bible or something with her. Sigh. I really did want to ask her whether I really wanted to join a religion where only 144,000 of the members are elegible to go to heaven but I couldn't be bothered to argue about religious matters on a Saturday morning with soap suds in my hands.