Sheer bloody mindedness

Warning - this blog contains bad language!

Midnightman 2019 race report "Sheer bloody mindedness"

This is Hilary.

Hilary is several stone overweight (no really).

Hilary may just be possibly the worst triathlete ever and often comes last. Although, it seems this tenacity seems to inspire others.

Hilary is supposed to be on a sabbatical from racing. However, I have completed the London Marathon, the Great South 4k swim, Bridge Triathlon standard distance, Dock2Dock 5k swim and the London Triathlon Olympic Plus. I've decided that the sabbatical never really started.

Hilary is about to win the Greenwich Tritons female club champion.

Hold the phone - how does that work? Well it seems that no other women had entered the middle distance. 

Enter Sophie Johnson, also Greenwich Triton. Well, it was never going to be that easy.

Midnightman is a very unusual race. It starts at 6 in the evening and goes on through the night. It takes place on a mixture of industrial estate and housing. The bike route takes you up and down the highway and part of the housing estate. 

So we got there a little close to time but I had very few nerves. This is unusual for me, but I think after three Bridge events and one previous Midnightman, the place makes me feel at ease. We all stood around at the water's edge, not wanting to be the next one in and having to tread water while waiting for the start. My cap was extremely small - I have a very large head and struggle occasionally with caps but this one I had to squeeze my hair into!

We did get into the water, where we bobbed for a bit before starting. Clearly some of my friends hadn't been listening to the race brief because several of them asked where we were swimming. Sigh. We set off and started swimming. I had managed to get my new wetsuit on slightly more comfortably (having only previously swum in it once and it felt like a torture device!) and was swimming better than I had been. I did almost get swum over once or twice but I don't go down without a fight so I batted them off. About half way round I thought my goggles were about to come off and they were leaking a bit so I readjusted the strap. It was then that I figured it was my stupid cap trying to come off. Previously I have tried to stop and put the cap back on, but this time I was like, nah that'll waste time. So most of the second lap my cap was held in place only to the back of my head by my goggles. The only problem was, bits of my hair kept coming into my face so it was harder to sight!

My cross country friend Geraldine had a good laugh at my cap flapping off the back of my goggles as I got out of the water. Into transition I went, got myself ready and off on the bike... once I'd managed to clip myself in. Because of the wind, they'd had to cut the loops short so instead of 10 laps we had to do 13... unlucky for some. It was windy out there. Every time we went out onto the highway, the wind sucked the energy out of you and you were left in a fight against an invisible beast. I saw lots of Tritons out on the course, and they cheered me on as I went past. About 20 km and 5 laps in, I hit a very dark place. I started to wonder why I'd decided to enter this race. My reverie was broken by Sophie pinching my backside as she sped past, which gave me a bit of a fright and I might have had a bit of a go at her! The next time she went past me she told me that she was going to be doing the aquabike - thus making me once again the only female Triton in the race, thus the champ if I finished. This perked me up no end and brought me out of my dark place.

A few laps later was my encounter with the Dickless Wonder. He was driving a Range Rover or Landrover so I reckon he was overcompensating for something. So this guy drives up on the fast lane of the dual carriageway, window open, and proceeds to harrass me. He was shouting about my fat arse or me coming last, I don't know which but he thought it was really amusing. What a twat. I'd like to see him try doing this race. My anger and irritation at this kept me going for several more laps. The last few laps were more and more painful and by the time lap number 13 came up I couldn't wait to get off my bike. I was pleased with my ride though, I got round far more of the dead turns than I had previously without putting my feet down :)

On to the run then. It was about 11 pm by that stage and very dark. The route was very quiet with only the very occasional runner out there. My husband told me afterwards many had dropped out because of the weather. I pootled along, cheering anyone who came past me. I was mildly confused by everyone running back towards me until I figured out that the run went out and back again. I jogged on and on, passing my car, some fields and back to the housing estate. It was so dark and so quiet. There were some lovely ladies down by the hotel who were cheering us on and of course every time I went past the main transition area everyone cheered me on. After the first lap I realised that I had four laps to run not three - dammit! Every lap got quieter and lonelier. Third lap was the wildlife lap - including a rabbit that was taking its life into its own hands messing around the roundabout!

The full distance crazy people were starting to go past me. This included the very Aussie Australian. Also one lady who came past me who seemed to be running with her daughter (did someone say no outside assistance?!?). Some even had torches on their heads, one so bright I was temporarily blinded. Every time I went past my car I imagined it was cheering me on. Finally it was time for the final lap, Les who has cheered me on for several triathlons ran out with me to my final lap, and off I went back round the back and the dark and quiet. Round past the office buildings, past the end of the main road, then back out to the dark. Past the industrial estate, then past the quiet buildings and then some poor man came past me with a sore TFL. He walked with me (I was clearly jogging really slowly) for a few minutes before running on. All I had to do was finish. There was the finish straight, my poor husband waiting for me, cheering me on, and finally the finish line.

I finished in just under 8 hours. So everyone, please may I present the Greenwich Tritons female club champion for middle distance 2019. I won by default, but I was the only lady Triton to finish the distance. I do feel a bit like a cheater but I can't lie I'm incredibly proud of this achievement.

Pain is just the French word for bread: London Marathon 2019

Other triathletes: "Doing a stand-alone marathon will be a walk in the park after Ironman"

Physio: "Hilary your knee is very swollen. I don't think you should run the marathon"

Colleague: “Have you done a marathon before?” Me, slightly sheepishly: “Only as part of an Ironman”

Ah, London marathon. I must have applied every year since I joined the Tritons - 5 or 6 years, each time to get the "sorry" letter through the post. Every year the Tritons also get a place so I apply for that too. This year when my name came up it was a bit of a surprise - I never win anything!

So after several months of irregular running and the odd Parkrun I threw myself into a training plan. Three times a week, quickly working up to 16km. The niggle in my knee started to niggle more than ever. My piriformis became an issue again. Then came the discussion with the physio about not doing the marathon. But it was my dream. I'd overdone it, and had to rest. Then came the worst flu I'd had for a while. I was out for a month.

Thus I had one month left to train, could I still do this run? My coach friend Jim looked dubious but gave me a plan anyway. I then had the interesting job of trying to fit in long runs around conference season. I came home from Belfast on a Thursday night, ran 25km on Friday, then Saturday morning I was off to Amsterdam at the crack of dawn! If it wasn't for training I would have missed the most beautiful lake in Amsterdam just as the sun was setting.

The days before the marathon were as manic as usual but I managed to get my run number on Wednesday at the expo. Oh, I thought, maybe I'll have a massage while I'm here. Thus proceeded one of the most painful half hours of my life. He seemed concerned that I was very tight and I'm not sure if he helped at all!

The day of the race dawned cold as they predicted. I caught my bus and train to Blackheath and joined the crowds walking to the start. Dropping off my bag I saw fellow Triton Julie and she gave me a hug and wished me luck. I also saw Simon, a friend's husband who had somehow jammily got into the marathon on his first ballot.

They'd instructed us to be there at least an hour before we started so there was a lot of waiting around in the cold before we could get started. Eventually I made my way to my zone just after a final comfort break and found the 5:45 pacing team. Apparently pacing runners above 5h were a new thing this year as they discovered 30% of runners finished after 5 hours.

We got colder as we waited to start. My fingers went white. We plodded towards the start gantry and we were on our way!

It was the weirdest thing running down the middle of the road that I normally drive down. The crowds were out and cheering. I instantly regretted not having my name on my top. Within about 10 minutes I'd decided to go ahead of the 5:45 pacers and run at a comfortable speed. There were many signs, one of which read:

You're running slower than Brexit

I thought that was a bit rude! There were loads of kids with their arms held out so I gave many hi 5s at the start. Spotting Stuart on my way past Woolwich, I gave him a hug and went on my way.

Thea had said the road from Woolwich to Rotherhithe took forever but because it's a cycle route home for me it wasn't that bad. I was very amused that the preacher from Woolwich town centre had decided to preach to us from the side of the road as we left Woolwich! I took water at every station I got to. I'd made super strength Tailwind in my bottles and kind of regretted it because it didn't taste good. There was a multitude of sweets on offer from the crowds with some people even holding strawberry laces in the middle of the road! By Rotherhithe I'd almost caught up with the 5h 30 pacers, I could see them in the distance. However, as I got to the end of the Rotherhithe loop, the good old hip problems started to kick in. I looked at the time and grabbed a couple of paracetamol. The pacers disappeared into the distance.

You're running faster than the government

We got to the stretch before Tower Bridge and I was excited. I'd been told the Bridge was an experience, and I wasn't disappointed. I felt very emotional with this wall of noise and cheering going on around me. It was something else. Onwards and where was half way? Nicely they'd put a sign saying Half way on the side of the road. 2h 44, I'll take that. Tried to ignore the runners on the other side running the other way who were many many miles in front of us. It was around this point I went past Simon, but I wasn't sure if it was him and was focused on my own world of pain. Down through the back of Canary wharf the first 5h 45 pacer came back past me. I tried to keep up but I was just too tired to run that fast. I needed (or wanted!) to walk. Then I saw him go to the urinal so thought maybe he was pacing a bit faster!

I informed the ladies who didn't know where we were that we were going through the Isle of Dogs and slowly but surely the 25 mile marker came up. Thea had said she was going to be around there, but I couldn't see her. Then I remembered she'd be by Mudchute and there she was, with her mother and my promised banana! Then a short while later I saw Alex, Caroline and Rich and Lucy. They said I was running well so I pulled a face that has now become my favourite photo!

Soon after the other 5h 45 pacer came past. He was doing run/walk so I managed to keep up with him for a while longer, but soon enough I was struggling to keep up. Through the crowds at Canary Wharf we went and then onto what I reckon is the worst bit of the course, Blackwall. You still have 10k left to go, everything hurts and it's not as popular. It was around this point I switched my phone on to message and Bluetooth and sent a message to the WhatsApp group tracking us. I got several messages telling me to keep going which was very motivating!

I was pretty much hobbling by this stage, my hip had seized up and the red 6h marker came past me. Once again I tried to keep up but I just didn't have the speed. Through the back end of Wapping I only had a vague idea where we were but it just never seemed to end. Where was the Embankment? Several onlookers declared that my trousers were the best they’d seen all day.

You’re running faster than Brexit

(really? I thought I was slower!)

We got to the final big Lucozade aid station, the one with the weird Lucozade-filled algae pods. I tried a couple but I wasn’t convinced by the algae pods so threw them down on the ground. Every single Lucozade station was either really slippery afterwards or really sticky (yuk!). Helen, one of my tall friends, was helping out at the aid station and shouted at me and I gave her a hug.

On to the Embankment, and the crowds started building again. It seemed to take forever to get from London Bridge to Waterloo and I was definitely limping, someone even asked me if I was OK. There was Waterloo and Thea and her mother again – thanks guys for your support – and finally onto the home straight and Westminster. 1 km to go to the end. The 6 h pacers came up behind me. Uh oh, I thought, I don’t want to go above 6 hours. Better try to speed up. Somehow I managed to drag some speed out of my poor aching body and I ran along St James’ Park, 600 m to go, 400 m to go, turn the corner and there’s the Mall and the finish line! Straight across the finish line and I am done! 5h 59! I was so happy to complete in under 6 hours.

It was the best weather to do a marathon in. It was the best city to do a marathon in. My only regret is not cutting my toenails before the race, so my right toe which is susceptible to turning black did a right number on me and got a very bad toenail haematoma… Would I do it again? Nah. I had to give up swimming and cycling for far too long and thus I reckon my stand-alone marathon days are over. Probably.