Midnightman 2019 race report "Sheer bloody mindedness"
This is Hilary.
Hilary is several stone overweight (no really).
Hilary may just be possibly the worst triathlete ever and often comes last. Although, it seems this tenacity seems to inspire others.
Hilary is supposed to be on a sabbatical from racing. However, I have completed the London Marathon, the Great South 4k swim, Bridge Triathlon standard distance, Dock2Dock 5k swim and the London Triathlon Olympic Plus. I've decided that the sabbatical never really started.
Hilary is about to win the Greenwich Tritons female club champion.
Hold the phone - how does that work? Well it seems that no other women had entered the middle distance.
Enter Sophie Johnson, also Greenwich Triton. Well, it was never going to be that easy.
Midnightman is a very unusual race. It starts at 6 in the evening and goes on through the night. It takes place on a mixture of industrial estate and housing. The bike route takes you up and down the highway and part of the housing estate.
So we got there a little close to time but I had very few nerves. This is unusual for me, but I think after three Bridge events and one previous Midnightman, the place makes me feel at ease. We all stood around at the water's edge, not wanting to be the next one in and having to tread water while waiting for the start. My cap was extremely small - I have a very large head and struggle occasionally with caps but this one I had to squeeze my hair into!
We did get into the water, where we bobbed for a bit before starting. Clearly some of my friends hadn't been listening to the race brief because several of them asked where we were swimming. Sigh. We set off and started swimming. I had managed to get my new wetsuit on slightly more comfortably (having only previously swum in it once and it felt like a torture device!) and was swimming better than I had been. I did almost get swum over once or twice but I don't go down without a fight so I batted them off. About half way round I thought my goggles were about to come off and they were leaking a bit so I readjusted the strap. It was then that I figured it was my stupid cap trying to come off. Previously I have tried to stop and put the cap back on, but this time I was like, nah that'll waste time. So most of the second lap my cap was held in place only to the back of my head by my goggles. The only problem was, bits of my hair kept coming into my face so it was harder to sight!
My cross country friend Geraldine had a good laugh at my cap flapping off the back of my goggles as I got out of the water. Into transition I went, got myself ready and off on the bike... once I'd managed to clip myself in. Because of the wind, they'd had to cut the loops short so instead of 10 laps we had to do 13... unlucky for some. It was windy out there. Every time we went out onto the highway, the wind sucked the energy out of you and you were left in a fight against an invisible beast. I saw lots of Tritons out on the course, and they cheered me on as I went past. About 20 km and 5 laps in, I hit a very dark place. I started to wonder why I'd decided to enter this race. My reverie was broken by Sophie pinching my backside as she sped past, which gave me a bit of a fright and I might have had a bit of a go at her! The next time she went past me she told me that she was going to be doing the aquabike - thus making me once again the only female Triton in the race, thus the champ if I finished. This perked me up no end and brought me out of my dark place.
A few laps later was my encounter with the Dickless Wonder. He was driving a Range Rover or Landrover so I reckon he was overcompensating for something. So this guy drives up on the fast lane of the dual carriageway, window open, and proceeds to harrass me. He was shouting about my fat arse or me coming last, I don't know which but he thought it was really amusing. What a twat. I'd like to see him try doing this race. My anger and irritation at this kept me going for several more laps. The last few laps were more and more painful and by the time lap number 13 came up I couldn't wait to get off my bike. I was pleased with my ride though, I got round far more of the dead turns than I had previously without putting my feet down :)
On to the run then. It was about 11 pm by that stage and very dark. The route was very quiet with only the very occasional runner out there. My husband told me afterwards many had dropped out because of the weather. I pootled along, cheering anyone who came past me. I was mildly confused by everyone running back towards me until I figured out that the run went out and back again. I jogged on and on, passing my car, some fields and back to the housing estate. It was so dark and so quiet. There were some lovely ladies down by the hotel who were cheering us on and of course every time I went past the main transition area everyone cheered me on. After the first lap I realised that I had four laps to run not three - dammit! Every lap got quieter and lonelier. Third lap was the wildlife lap - including a rabbit that was taking its life into its own hands messing around the roundabout!
The full distance crazy people were starting to go past me. This included the very Aussie Australian. Also one lady who came past me who seemed to be running with her daughter (did someone say no outside assistance?!?). Some even had torches on their heads, one so bright I was temporarily blinded. Every time I went past my car I imagined it was cheering me on. Finally it was time for the final lap, Les who has cheered me on for several triathlons ran out with me to my final lap, and off I went back round the back and the dark and quiet. Round past the office buildings, past the end of the main road, then back out to the dark. Past the industrial estate, then past the quiet buildings and then some poor man came past me with a sore TFL. He walked with me (I was clearly jogging really slowly) for a few minutes before running on. All I had to do was finish. There was the finish straight, my poor husband waiting for me, cheering me on, and finally the finish line.
I finished in just under 8 hours. So everyone, please may I present the Greenwich Tritons female club champion for middle distance 2019. I won by default, but I was the only lady Triton to finish the distance. I do feel a bit like a cheater but I can't lie I'm incredibly proud of this achievement.
