Amusing Announcement

Before Monty Python's "Meaning Of Life" :

This film contains swearing, violence, sex... and a wafer thin mint.

My Hoya Carnosa

Dance with me! My first ever Hoya flower!!! Woooohooooooooooooo!
And I can smell it, despite a blocked nose and a chest infection...
I love Hoyas. My interest in plants was started at an early age by my mother, who got us to plant out seeds and watch them grow into flowers. Although, I wasn't terribly excited by being able to grow radishes - I hate radishes!
My mother's had these two Hoyas growing in the dining room for longer than I've been alive. They came from cuttings of her friend's plant in Switzerland, which apparently has been there at least since the 1940s. Several years ago these plants got mealy bugs and started to go downhill. I managed to grab a couple of leaves and tried to root them. After leaving them for several months in the greenhouse, sure enough one leaf did start to root and grow a new stem. Hooray! This plant got taken to Bristol for my undergraduate degree, off to Cambridge for my postgraduate degree and now back to Bristol for my postdoc. Since those early days the plant has grown and grown (to tryffid-like size) but never flowered. It had a few knocks and probably didn't get enough sun. Last year it had to go home again and sat in the sunshine and got fed tomato food for a change, which produced new growths, called "peduncles". Oooh. It's been thinking about flowering for a few weeks now but finally I have been rewarded. Yayayayayayayayay!

[Object] Is My Friend

This particular phrase is currently reaching its zenith. So I thought I would write a list of what is, and is not, my friend this week.

...Is Not My Friend
My body (after feeling that my stomach was exploding at the start of the week, my head is now exploding instead. Nice.)
England, for making me gnash my teeth when I'm watching them. I'd make a very nervous football supporter
Sweden (the match on Tuesday made me say "England and Sweden are not my friends")
Code-lock doors - why are there so many at work, and why do they all have different numbers?
Evmpzg

...Is My Friend
Lunch
My Sofa
Ross (less than a week til I see him! Yay!)
Pizza
Parcels through the post... especially if they're presents!

...Might be My Friend
The centrifuge (it works, but it's far away)
Peter Crouch (we like, but not for too long)
Chocolate (tastes nice, but bad for me)

Feel free to add your own in the reactions area...

Ode Composed At Midnight

Ah.... Hilary. Tallness, scaryness.... and poetry?



The air covers me like a blanket
It feels as chocolate against my skin
As I go speeding, speeding

I long for the boom of thunder
The storm, it wraps itself around me
Come, pouring rain
And cleanse this sultry earth

O crashing night!
O quiet dawn!
Come leave me now
For this fresh morn.

Yes, You Can Transfect Yourself

I have talked about my work before. Those of you who were around saw my green cells. Recently, Ellie asked what she should transfect (i.e. make green). I told her she could transfect herself. Of course this was a joke (and got to the point where we though it would be funny to transfect her with a yellow flourescent protein so she could be a munchkin) but now we find that, in fact, there is indeed reality in the strangest fiction we could make up...



Ah. A green bunny. Of course, now it all makes sense...

Do Not Antagonise The Hilary

Otherwise You Get Hurt.

Last night, some bloke undid my bra.

I do not apologise for what I did next.

I don't think he will ever do that again. Ever. To Anybody.

It's Not Funny To Laugh At Tall People

Maybe it is....

I've decided that Peter Crouch is my new idol. Those of you who only know me a little bit may not realise that a bloke who is tall and lanky is my ideal man (which is why I'm going out with a 7'5 bloke who weighs less than I do...)

So, we like Mr Crouch. Well, I do anyway. But for those of you who don't, you can have a good giggle at his various silly poses instead...

"Awww" Come here and give us a hug!











Crouch grows an extra leg, and wonders where it came from (possibly also slightly concerned it's green!)








Imagine playing musical statues and being in that position when the music stops... Ouch!











Right, time to dance off to the weekend....

Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition

A few thoughts for a sleepy warm Thursday lunchtime...

Tiddlywinks. It's my new swear word. I say it usually on the badminton court but it now seems to be creeping into my lab words as well.

The River Avon. Surely there's one in Bristol and Salisbury. They can't be the same river???

The World Cup. My prediction: England will meet Argentina at some stage, and it will get to penalties. Whether we win that game or not will determine whether we win the cup.
As an aside, why does listening to Three Lions give me the goosebumps?

My head. Why do I require at least 9 hours sleep a night? Having had less than that this week, I currently feel like my head's full of gravel. Humph.

Plants. Why can't they just get on and flower, instead of taunting me with buds for weeks? Makes me think of Monty Python; "I taunt you with my buds! I will never flower in your general direction!"

Babbling

babble, v. To utter a meaningless confusion of words or sounds

Things that make me say grrr:
I burnt my wrist on the oven on Sunday and it has now become a rather lovely blister. It's now got to the scratchy stage and I can't scratch it as it will just make it worse...
Being woken up at 12:30 after being peacefully at sleep for two hours by Ross. The phone had to ring til it was cut off to wake me up...
My experiments not working, again. Pulldowns do not like me. I try so hard and just end up looking incompetent...
My supervisor, a man who can never make his mind up.
My new shoes hurt.
Having to actually get up early every day this week due to lots of work and leaving work early to play badminton, see parents, watch footie and get drunk
Clothes sizing - how can some size 18's fall off me and others stretch across me unnattractively?

Things that make me say yay:
Coffee. It's my friend. I know, I don't drink it, but I do, with chocolate...
I'm going to Paris in two weeks! Yay!
New shoes - one of the "specialist" shops for tall women now does shoes, and they sent me some new shiny ballet pumps! (I did have to pay for them, but they're pretty anyway!)
My parents are coming over tonight to buy me a birthday present and take me out for dinner! Always a time for celebration!
The smiley bouncy happiness that pervades this laboratory like a breath of fresh air.
Lunch. We like lunch. I particularly like it when I have some ripe mini-avocadoes to go with my chicken. Mmmmmmmmmm.....

Right, time to go run some gels. Woohoo.

My Week, In Quotes, Actions and Pictures

Quotes:
"They're like Tweedledee and Tweedledum but with legs" - Hilary comes out with another classic to describe Ross and Rob
"Minimi?" - must be said in a high pitch. Ellie doesn't know the answer.
"Weeeeeeeeee!" - must be said while using office chair as toy, as in whizzing round and round in a circle...
"Door says no..." This being the phrase of the week, it has been used repeatedly for everything from ourselves to inanimate objects, but this one was the funniest.
"La la la la la" - this is an Elaine thing to do, but, unsurprisingly, I have picked it up and now use it a lot.
"Boo" - Elaine says this in a non-scary way, and is amused when I say "Argh!"
"Thankyou for giving me my girlfriend" - you know people can't be like gifts, but glad you're pleased anyway!
"Dan Brown Just Got Richer" - I found this a particularly amusing alternative title to "The Da Vinci Code" by Marcus.
"Shiney" - this may be the next phrase of the week. I bought new clothes at the weekend and they were shiney. I know it's spelt wrong, but that's how it's said, OK?
"It's like stickers but with plants" - Hills finds people online to send plants to, and they'll send plants to her. This causes much excitement....

Actions:
Scratching against the door like a cat to be let in (you try opening a code door with your hands full!
Clapping like a small child when we're excited (involves clapping very fast right in front of your face, with optional bouncing...)
Spinning round on the chair (whilst saying weeee, as above!)

Pictures:
Hills gets Singstar, again. I was sad enough this time to take a picture of it, like when I used to win the hard Minesweeper... I think maybe I should get out more/not be on the "easy" setting...



I made this! Well, almost. The rose was there. But it might not have looked so pretty if I hadn't watered it and fed it. The hanging basket I did plant, however I used pinky/purple flowers which means it clashes a bit... next time I will try harder!

Time For Tea

I love tea. Also, I don't just drink bog standard tea so I thought I would compile a list of my top ten teas:-
1. Green Tea with Jasmine - very relaxing, just right for when you need calming, or just because you're having chinese. I don't drink it enough.
2. PG Tips - mostly because this is what I drink the most, and it makes me go "Aaaah". No, not "oooh" like in those random adverts.
3. Oolong tea - this is tea that's between black and green. Sadly I finished my last lot so now only get this when I can be bothered to make at my parent's house.
4. Russian caravan - this used to be my favourite, but I drank it too much so has slipped down the list. Still nice occasionally.
5. Japanese green tea with rice - I went to the tea shop near me recently and tried this, it's goood. Very good for upset stomachs, and relaxing too.
6. Green tea - Hongruo, my Chinese lab-mate, brought me back some proper chinese green tea recently. You can really taste it. Mmmmm....
7. Rooibos - again, another new one for me, but not bad all in all. Quite refreshing.
8. Peppermint tea - in Egypt we drank a lot of this. The little tea man in Cambridge, who I miss terribly, gave me some mixed with green tea. Good for upset stomachs and after meals.
9. Vanilla, Ginseng and Blackcurrant - for the days when you really can't wake up, this is a good alternative to coffee and tea. Needs to be stewed, otherwise tastes of nothing...
10. Echinacea - good for colds. Smells like grass (and looks quite yellow). I have a tendency to put my echinacea tea bag in with my PG tips bag, and this seems to work. It does make me feel better, but it could be completely in my mind...

It was My Birthday, And I'll Smile If I Want To

Ah. Yes, I got another year older. As I got older, I managed to make something happen I thought might happen, but didn't actually expect in reality. Now I kind of feel like I've sent my children off into the wide world and I have to let them get on with it without worrying. But I do worry, and I don't know why.

However, I had a lovely weekend. I drank, spent time with my friends, read my book in the peace and relative quiet of my garden in the rare sunshine this country kindly gave us and got given several presents. As an aside, I also got given a large pile of washing up, a complete lack of funds in my bank and was eaten out of house and home. All I have now is some cider and some sausagemeat (hmm.. that sounds nice, maybe I can make a meal out of that!!!).

So, how do I feel? Mostly confused today. I'm hoping that will clear up later. Also, I feel like I should be some kind of singing sensation after managing to get the award of "Singstar" after what felt like a bad rendition of "Paint It Black" by the Rolling Stones (for those of you who don't understand, I got given "Singstar Rocks" for my birthday, and apparently my humming cut the mustard!!!). I'm excited because someone may give me a present later on and I'm hoping it'll go nicely with the hi-fi system that Tony kindly gave me (wrapping a remote control in wrapping paper really confused me for a while, sorry!!!).

We say yay. Probably.

What happens when you mix sugar, Ellie and Hilary

Intermission

There will be a short intermission here. If I had the power I would add a Monty Python stylee yellow intermission sign and some wurlitzer music, but sadly I a) can't be bothered and b) I have no power over anything any more.

The shit has truly hit the fan, and it's gone all over me.



Oooh... it works! Yay, I can do something after all!

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

"I go to the hills when my heart is lonely..."











My top list of musicals that are also films:

1. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (this comes top of my list cos I watched it the other day and couldn't drag myself away - Gert Frobe as a camp castle owner? I would never have thought it!) Favourite Song - Hushabye Mountain
2. Monty Python And The Holy Grail (if only for the Camelot song. Works even better as Lego figures... I laughed, and I laughed) Favourite song - well, it's got to be Camelot
3. Grease (Favourite song - the megamix? can I have that?)
4. Rocky Horror Picture Show (despite the freakyness) Favorite Song - Time Warp (why not?)
5. The Sound Of Music (Favorite song - um. The Sound of Music)
6. Mary Poppins (This used to be my very favorite when I was little. apparently I used to make my parents put it on endlessly. Unfortunately has slipped down the board due to its inability to keep me interested as an adult) Favourite Song - Jolly Holiday. If only for the cow singing "Moooary makes the sun shine bright"
7. Chicago (Favorite Song - He Had It Coming)
8. Moulin Rouge (It's been so long since I've seen this I can't remember what it's about)
9. The Lion King (cute animals. Favorite song - I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts)
10. Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat (they had to put donny osmond as Joseph. Aaargh. It'll never be the same with a female narrator as well. Favorite song - Potiphar).

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

The Good:
Doctor Who this week! My god, are the Cybermen scary! By the end of the episode, I was truly scared. I have a feeling I may have seen them in an earlier incarnation and this is the root of my fear, or maybe it's just because it was just genuinely scary. Hmmm...

The Bad:
My friend was doing his DIY this weekend and managed to give himself quite a bad electric shock and hurt his left hand quite badly. He's spent two nights in hospital and may need a skin graft this morning. Get well soon Tony!

The Ugly:
David Tennant with a beard. One word: NO! Please shave it off...

Men, You Suck

No, I'm not sorry. I'm going to steal a bit of Ellie's rant here in my list of why men suck at the moment.

The man who was supposed to send me my nice pretty plant still hasn't, after five days of waiting.
The postman who's supposed to be delivering me my plant didn't turn up before I had to go to work.
The plumber didn't turn up this morning before I had to go to work.
Men who fancy me. Stop it! I can't cope!
Two men I know were in such a depressed mood the other day they made me feel down and like it was all my fault.
The man of my life decided last night that we shouldn't see each other any more. Again.

Go Away! Stop making my life more complicated than it all ready is!

I swear, it's a conspiracy...

Tryffids!

I swear my plants are growing into tryffids at the moment. One minute they're small and sweet, the next they're going to be climbing all over the window and threatening me with their long vines.... eek!
Take, for example, my hoya carnosa. Here it is as a pretty, tidy plant
Now it's attacking the curtain pole!


Ok, so maybe I DID undo it. However, I measured it at the same time - it's 11 and a half foot long, which is a probably enough to catch you if you were trying to run away.... or creep up on you if you were peacefully watching the television... They could even possibly run around on their roots...




The other day I showed you my brand new seedlings. A few weeks later they've got a bit bigger... My mother, nicely, tells me these tomatoes are going to get to 2 feet high - ok not as big as the hoya but big enough.... whimper

So, if you don't hear from me for a while, and you don't know where I've got to, it's because the plants have taken over...


Graaaaaaah!

Things That Are Great About The Matrix

5. Keanu Reeves only says about 30 words.
4. Trinity.
3. The simplicity - less scenes, less CGI
2. The slo-mo bits where gun cases fall slowly, concrete explodes etc.
1. Keanu Reeves only says about 30 words.


I can do Kung Fu?
Maybe, but you can't act...

Why I'll Always Be Clumsy

I'm 26, and for my entire life I don't really remember a day when I didn't have a bruise, scratch or other injury to myself. The other day I was cycling along and tried to grab the free newspaper off the bloke giving them out (people may say here that I was trying to show off, but just seems easier than stopping). Unfortunately I'd kind of mis-timed it and bounced off the bloke in front of me's shoe. So, I end up with bruises and much embarrasment.



So, I got a ICI (Identified Cycling Injury). I didn't break anything and I'm a bit crap at keeping my balance even when sober (don't even ask about when I'm drunk!). Just another couple of bruises to add to my collection. I'll probably get a few more soon...